Summer

Grüner See

Grüner See
Styria, Austria

How To Live Together

Laugh. Laugh all day. Laugh about everything and anything. Laugh so hard that your face hurts and your abs become defined. Laugh when things aren't funny, and laugh harder when they are...still no matter, what you must laugh, because if you don't laugh then you cry. After a fight, try to keep a straight face, tell yourself that you are playing a game. You know that game "who can be more serious right now?" Well play that and you'll end up laughing, and from laughter we end with smiles, and its hard to remain mad when you're smiling. When its all going wrong- like.ALL.going.wrong- and nothing you do can stop it I want you to say this "We're like clowns." Stand there, look at the mess you've helplessly made, shake your head and say it out loud. There is no better medicine. When you laugh you are most attractive and welcoming. Welcome laugh lines and crows feet with open arms. Its true what they say, laughter is contagious. Let it spread.

Windows Are Rolled Down- Amos Lee

An unsinkable ship.

There are a few certain people who resonate, spark, ignite.  Not once then die out, but forever burn, lit, aflame.  Friends precious like stones.  We can go a day a month a year then suddenly back to where we were.  Little things along the way remind me of you and our ship.  That ship will always be unsinkable.  We're on parallels, always were.  Same language spoken.  Same cloth, the cut.

These Old Shoes

Buried in arms.

You know those few minutes right before you fall asleep, where youre in between day and night, wake and sleep...I was there and so were you. Been working hard on my willpower, knowing that I should. And it's so difficult when the right thing to do and what you want to do are contradictory. Find inner strength; fight inner strength. Every word ever said lingering. You were real. You are appreciated. It was never a "we" or an "us" but it was. Snowglobed-firsts, lightless-rooms, plantearium-fauxdates. Books, tons of books. Oh, and Derrick or Derek, the same but different; we've always been.

Mid-road-reality

And there I was, just like the story I read out loud last night, stuck in the middle of the woods. I could go one way or the other, both entirely separate routes. Mid-road-reality; the only place to actually exist. To be selfish or graceful, its now or never. I chose the high road, I let you talk. I said my piece then you said yours. This grace thing is killing me but all hard work pays off, right?

A girl can dream.

Speak to the Smartest

From your professors point of view. Click me.

A Timeline

Just a little something interesting for my fellow book nerds...

Timeline.

Silvia

Dedicated, inversely.

Creature Fear

So many foreign worlds, so ready for us.

Remixed

mixed by using only sounds from the given movie, kid is unreal.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Fagottron

thankyouson.

Move me.

Today is Thursday.  Thursdays are good days.  Today is a good day.  Maybe Incubus was right, "My greatest fear will be the rescue of me, strange how it turns out that way."  Train, oh train, dear el-eye-double-are.  Who would have thought that it was you that was missing from me?  A place to get my thoughts out and down, not down and out.  Complaining about you for months but how could I?  You take me, you move me, you transport me to my most favorite place.  Literally and figuratively.  A busy place for a busy mind somehow creates peace.  Lovely little contradictions.

Groundhog Day

Today is Groundhog Day...oh, what a fantastic movie.  Anyway, the groundhog decided to show up today and told us (yes, actually said in English, maybe Spanish, but probably French, as he was definitely wearing a beret,) that we will be seeing Spring very soon.  I think I've fallen for that little beret-wearing-baguette-eating rodent.

Although this post is for all to enjoy, it is specifically dedicated to my very best friend, a fellow SAD sufferer.  No more winter blues baby.  With perfect teeth, the way we are.

Home

Our home. Our song.

Grace

Its three which means there are two to go.  Its amazing to think about the weight of words.  Words change thoughts.  Words change feelings.  Words change everything.  Mine caught above my shoulders, circling
like sharks.  Released to grace paper that will never be delivered.  Grace; maybe that is grace.  To think, then to feel, only to rethink, and to revise.  Wise words once said, "We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation."  It was about me and my and I because of you.  Solely focused on the former not the latter.  The sun doesn't know its just a star.  Shining so brightly but with no vision that its not the only one.  Then came your words, words that Ive shared before, therefore hitting home.  Home, yes home, our home.  No longer about me and my and I, I finally thought of you.  A calming sense of your needs put my circling words to rest.  Naturally, organically, without thought or work.  Things in perspective; all things where they belong.  To understand and empathize is the highest of the arts.  Art that's not created nor learned, just there to put the uneasy at ease.

Tonight's Today

inspired

And the last you heard was just how uninspired I was by all that surrounds me. Well there is one thing, one flame of inspiration these days. Not a place but a person. Una palabra. Inspiration bundled up into a body, a soul. One that rests his head to my left day in and day out; oh, how lucky am I? You know who you are, more karma-careful than Buddha. Inspiring me to do the right things, say sorry when I am wrong, be fair to those around me. You wake with contagious smiles and fall asleep with infectious laughter. Always wearing even-keeled well. Nicer, kinder, happier; thank you.

uninspired

Its been so long since I've actually written, since I've actually cared to write at all. It saddens me that I have little around me that inspires me right now. I shouldn't complain but I'm going to...I miss the crisp, dirty city air, I miss forever-sunny Brooklyn, I miss the overcrowded subways, I miss the people, all of them. Music, new music, every.single.day. Sick of this cookie-cutter-cultureless-island. I miss seeing something new everyday. Feeling something new, hearing something new, smelling something new. Something that touches my soul. I miss my friends and my enemies. I miss souvlaki at 3am and Thai food on a whim. I miss Craigslist missed connections and the commonplace of whiskey. Cowboy boots & hot pretzels. I want to walk outside and actually feel my surroundings. Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in.

As Much As I Ever Could

11/10/10

Hung up the phone in a daze.  Your far away voice so close to me.  Left me in a trance.  Red then green then red again.  The lights turned, I didn't.  No music playing, no music needed.  Air filled with song.  We're still here.  You're still here.  Same giggly, Aristotle-reading, wanderer.  You'll never stray far.  The feeling of full- an after thanksgiving dinner kind of full.  Full and thankful.  It was just us.  Plain, simple us.  I wrote today's date near twenty times today but it held no meaning until now.  You're more than in my head.

Steal

an orange sunset

Where does love go when its lost?  Does it float around in vast space or dissipate into thin air?  The hollow hearts longing.  Re-filled but still partially empty.  Always.  A different kind of fill.  Each love is a different jig-sawed puzzle piece.  Different from the rest.  Different, yes again.  Lots of pieces, none the same.  Each perfectly designed for that space.  Space and time.  Time does not mean space, space does not mean time.  Flashbacks sharp as lightning.  Daydreams beautifully blurry.  A bare room, a top sheet, an orange sunset.  

99 Problems

Darling, Its Alright.

...

He asked me years ago to define the word "Love."  He asked many, in fact.  It was an assignment that I wouldn't hand in on time, I honestly don't think I even handed it in that same semester.  But I do remember writing it.  I remember mulling over and over about it, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say, the 'nail on the head' of writing and defining.  And then, back then, way back then, I thought I got it.  I remember writing something to the extent of "Love is the last money left in your bank account used to buy your significant other a present, something to make them happy, to see their eyes light up."  To me then, back then, way back then, love was about extremes.  The highest highs and lowest lows.  Winter and Summer.  Black and white.

Years gone by, loves gone by.  Love on so many different levels and so many different extremes.  But thats what it takes, doesn't it?  Years.  Extremes.  Experience.  I thought about the specific day he asked us to define that word, that little "L" word, that four letter word with so much meaning and honesty.  Proustian moments somehow find their way to connect me to him and that classroom constantly, a smell, a taste, a sound, a sight, and I'm right back there.  Today it was the distant sky.  The same dark but harmless sky as the day he had assigned the assignment.  Little did I know that 5 years later I would begin to reevaluate my answer.

Now, today, here, right here love is different.  Its no longer an extreme, an up or a down.  Its not the "POP" at the highest point of the firework, nor is it the "BANG" of the bullet leaving the guns barrel.  Its the quiet of the before and after.  Love is what happens when nothing at all happens.  The peaceful altruistic moments we have for one another without even realizing we did so.  Love is when we don't think, but just do.

We were walking around the neighborhood [a commonplace for us] I was wearing your sweatshirt.  Oversized just enough to keep me perfectly warm in this cool Fall weather.  I had pushed up the sleeves, about halfway up my forearm, probably so I could talk freely with my hands as I always do.  Mid-conversation you leaned over and pulled the sleeves down past my hands then rolled each one up so that the edge of the sweatshirt just reached my wrist.  We never stopped walking, we never stopped talking, I never said "thank you," I never asked "why."  I didn't need to.  I didn't even realize it occurred until much later.  I'll never know exactly why you did what you did, Im not even sure if you do.  My guess is that somewhere in your head, somewhere in between our playful conversation, and the gorgeous weather of this Fall season, you probably thought I was cold, or uncomfortable, and without thought or words or interruption you did what you did.  That's love.

If he were to ask me today, at this very moment, to define that little word I would only have one thing to say.  One short, precise answer, "Love is an ellipsis."

To know for always

Fresh

Willow Smith
Will Smith's daughter
Age 9.
Signed by Jay-Z
No jokes.
I guess this is what happens when your Dad is the fresh prince.
A May Zing.

I just couldnt help myself

Sorry Zac [Efron] I re-fell in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Whether you love him or loathe him you should probably watch this video. Ummm and he speaks french about 2/3 of the way through. Oui.