Safe and Sound

The thing about cheating; a perspective.

These words are not intended to make you sad or make you question.  These words are intended to lie, to sit, to settle, to be kept as food for thought on a mentally rainy day.  The thing about cheating is a conscious decision made.  Unfaithful, deceiving, wrong.  We all "know" this yet so many do it.  The thing about cheating is that its not just one person.  Its both.  Its deep rooted and known.  Well maybe not known, but felt.  Your heart cheats before your body cheats.  The "why" is the real question.  I dislike when people say things such as "I had no idea, everything was perfect."  You knew, you felt it, and if you "didn't" then you were only lying to yourself.  We cheat when something is off.  We cheat after we try, or we think we try.  Relationships are convenient.  A convenient source of laughter, comfort, pleasure.  A warm bed.  By nature we are lazy creatures.  If what we're looking for is there we have no need to go elsewhere.  But when its not, we cheat.  I'm not talking about the "I-kissed-someone-while-I-was-out-drunk-off-of-two-too-many-Jack & Gingers," don't get me wrong- that is still unfair, inexcusable, and unfaithful, but I'm talking about the planned deception.  Sometimes we try to go back in our minds and think of how it started and where it all went wrong.  The problem there is that most only go so far back to the day they began to "talk" to the third party.  That's just not far back enough.  Go further.  Look at you and your loved one, and of course you still love them, and look to see whats not there.  While I don't sympathize with ones that cheat, I empathize with human nature.  Yes, you were wrong, you should have just left your commitment before you decided to act but I will say this...if you felt something was missing and voiced how you felt and nothing was done on either end to fix, mend, change, adjust, alter then you should know in your heart, you know, that thing that is responsible for you and your entire being-every blink, every breath, every bit of you- that you did try and you are not the only one to blame.  You didn't cheat, you both did.  To cheat is to short something or someone, to have it but not give it.  You both cheated on your relationship.  That ship that you both once sailed on.  The thing about ships is that you're either both on board or you both jump ships.  There is no I stay and you go.  But the fingers are pointed at you.  You cheater.  You were the one to jump ship and not them, so now they're hurt and that's understandable.  But the thing here, the thing about cheating, is that you're allowed to hurt too because you are also hurting.